Around The Corner

This photo is old. Well, relatively so, in that it was taken back in September 2008 by my friend Jeffrey (our wedding "officiant"). If you can't tell, I'm giving him the bird. And my best disgruntled Beatle impression.

It was a very different time, and a very different place, but that same sentiment has returned: Fuck it. Not with the angry or frustrated intonation that the phrase normally holds, but one that proclaims, "Things aren't going to be perfect. And I'm okay with that. They don't need to be." Of course, this is all in the context of wedding planning. WE ARE IN THE HOME STRETCH. Yessssssss!

HP and I took the trip up to Chicago for Pitchfork and to handle some wedding business. We met with the event planning assistant for our venue and our caterer. Considering that HP and I hadn't thought of half of the logistical or design details for this upcoming shindig, it was very productive. We managed to map out the timeline of the event (cocktail hour, ceremony, cocktail hour part deux, dinner, dancing/debauchery) and the layout of the very large venue space. While we invited about 120 guests, so far it's looking like it might be around 70. Smaller than we initially thought, especially for such a large space, but certainly our closest friends and family. Our meeting was very interesting. I knew from my conversations with our caterer that she was pretty traditional, in the sense that she knows and follows the old school format of weddings with all of the pomp and circumstance. It was great to know, however, that even though she was thrown off her game when we nixed a lot of standard, traditional elements, that she wasn't going to push any of it on us.

We've decided not to do things like being announced before dinner ("Here come Mr. and Mrs. HP!" not our style), hiding the bride away before the ceremony, and cutting a wedding cake (because there won't be one). I guess we don't really see the point in calling even more attention to ourselves than we already will. There were some other things that were brought up in our meeting, like where to put the card box or gift table and what sort of linens or plates to use, mainly things that were of little importance to us in the grand scheme of things. While I have every confidence that our caterer will handle everything professionally, I'm sure something will go wrong. Maybe the weather will take a turn for the worst. Maybe I'll trip on my way down the aisle. Maybe folks will grumble about only having a choice of beer or wine. Maybe someone will drunkenly insist that our indie rock DJ play The Electric Slide. There are a ton of maybes. I'm not really worried about them.

I get to marry the best darn man in the world. That's all that really matters.

Fffffridays.

In spite of the short work week, it sure does feel like a long one. Taking a change of pace from wedding planning, here's a possibly perfect summer playlist that my iPod magically conjured all on its own!

 

Pavement – Gold Soundz

Neutral Milk Hotel – Holland, 1945

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Young Adult Friction

The Replacements – Bastards Of Young

Of Montreal – Suffer For Fashion

Archers of Loaf – Web In Front

Okkervil River – Lost Coastlines

The Dodos – Walking

Mission of Burma – That's When I Reach For My Revolver

Camera Obscura – French Navy

The Replacements – Left Of The Dial

Japandroids – Wet Hair

She & Him – Ridin' In My Car

Sleater-Kinney – Everything

The Smiths – Panic

Superdrag – Senorita

Whiskeytown – Jacksonville Skyline

Rites of Spring – For Want Of

Motel Motel – Harlem

Maritime – Tearing Up The Oxygen

Magnetic Fields – To Drunk To Dream

Lung Leg – Krayola

Kut U Up – Destination

Gaslight Anthem – High Lonesome

Frightened Rabbit – Fast Blood

 

Now that I look at this list though…I think I need to get some new music. Suggestions are always welcome.

 

Maybe if I'm not feeling lazy I'll post a link so it can be downloaded. Maybe….

Bar Lights

THE SCENE: A neighborhood tavern. The light is low. The jukebox is playing songs picked by the lone couple sitting near the pool tables.

 

Him: So what do we do?

 

Her: [Confused] What do you mean?

 

Him: What happens if the number of people we thought were going to come to the wedding don't come? Are we going to have to pay more? Do we invite other people? [Exasperated] What are we going to do?!

 

Her: [Snickering] Heh, you want to be the one to tell the "new" people we invite. "Hey, sorry that you couldn't make it in the first round, but we have space and now you should totally come to the wedding!"

 

Him: [Sighing] Noooooo.

 

[She takes a long, slow sip of her beer.]

 

Him: But what if no one comes…?

 

Her: People will come!

 

Him: I was talking to my mom yesterday, and it looks like they and my sister are going to be the only ones from my family who make the trip. My aunt, who I thought would come, is going to have cataract surgery and has travel anxiety, so she isn't going to make it after all.

 

Her: Aww, that's too bad.

 

Him: So what should we do? Should we start contacting people who haven't RSVP'd yet?

 

Her: Babe, the due date isn't until the 16^th.

 

Him: I know. [He sips his beer.] Do you know how many people have said they're coming? Or if there are people you know are coming but haven't sent in their RSVP card yet?

 

Her: So far we have about 30 who said yes. I don't know about anyone else.

 

Him: So we should start calling people!

 

Her: My mom said that everyone will send theirs in at the last minute. Don't worry about it.

 

Him: [Runs his hands through his hair. Plops his head onto his arms, folded on the table.] [Sheepishly] But what if only, like, 50 people show up?

 

Her: Then only 50 people show up. And those 50 people will be our closest friends and family who care about us so much that they traveled to Chicago to celebrate us getting married. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter how many people show up. The ones who do will make it all the more special. Don't think about it as if we're losing money or anything. That's not the right way to go about it. We're going to have a wonderful reception, in a beautiful space, with the people who love us.

 

Him: I know. I was just thinking about it today. And it just hit me, how close it is to the big day.

 

Her: [In joking admonishment] Oh! It just got real for you!? Bitch, it's been real for me for the past 10 months we've been planning! Shiiiiiiiiit!

 

[He laughs.]

 

Her: Honestly though, don't worry about it too much. We'll go to Pitchfork, meet with the caterer and the venue folks, and have fun while we're in Chicago in a week or so. Then, we'll come back, give folks a few more days to send their cards in, and then get in touch with everyone we haven't heard from. It'll be fine.

 

[She pulls a $10 bill out of her wallet and slides it across the table to him.]

 

Him: What's this for?

 

Her: You obviously need another beer. Now, can we go play Galaga and relax?

Wedding Planning Annoyances: A Top 5 List

 

5. The "You HAVE To" Chorus

You have to have a wedding party! You have to have a cake! You have to wear white! You have to coordinate your chair covers with your table runners! You have to have floral centerpieces! In actuality, the universe will not be off kilter and no one will have a heart attack if we decide to skip any of these items. So for the last time, please don't tell me I HAVE to include something for my wedding. I've got it covered.

 

4. OMFG THIS DAY WILL BE PERFECT!

Even though I am a perfectionist at heart, I know when the time has come to walk away from something and just say, "Fuck it!" The wedding industry sells you images of perfection – scenes that have been meticulously planned, designed, styled, lit, photographed, and edited. No matter how much HP and I plan, something will go wrong. And you know what, that's okay with me. There comes a time when you have to just let go of perfection…and accept that life always has a curveball for you.

 

3. Bridezilla

Can we please kill this stereotype already? It doesn't just show brides in a maniacal, obsessive, manipulative, high strung manner, it also reflects very poorly on women. Tell me this doesn't make a whole heap of sense: http://offbeatbride.com/2010/01/of-brides-and-zillas

 

2. "It's the happiest day of your life!"

I know you mean well, but please, for the love of god, please stop saying that my wedding day is the happiest day of my life. If you can see into my future and this big, expensive, awesome, frustrating, 10-month long to plan party is really the best thing that's ahead of me… then I should probably be worried.

 

1. The Judgment

I don't know what it is, but there's something about weddings that makes everyone incredibly judgmental. If you've ever trolled through wedding planning message boards, the judgment can be so overwhelming that it might scare you off the whole wedding planning experience. The sole mention of the word "wedding" on a message board has the power to elicit the most disturbing reactions – everything from "Why bother?! It'll just end up in divorce anyway!" to "Just go to the courthouse! Don't waste your money on a stupid wedding!"  In traditionalist circles, the judgment is always what do you mean you aren't wearing white or having a calligrapher or an open bar or letterpress invitations?! Sacrilege! Sell a kidney to afford your Vera Wang! While offbeat circles are generally more open-minded, I've also found that some brides want to impress upon others why offbeat is 2646548x better. I'm more of the mindset that, you've simply got to do what feels right for you and your husband to be. Never mind the wedding industry noise, whether it's indie or traditional, just do what feels right.