Monday, July 19, 2010
This photo is old. Well, relatively so, in that it was taken back in September 2008 by my friend Jeffrey (our wedding "officiant"). If you can't tell, I'm giving him the bird. And my best disgruntled Beatle impression.
It was a very different time, and a very different place, but that same sentiment has returned: Fuck it. Not with the angry or frustrated intonation that the phrase normally holds, but one that proclaims, "Things aren't going to be perfect. And I'm okay with that. They don't need to be." Of course, this is all in the context of wedding planning. WE ARE IN THE HOME STRETCH. Yessssssss!
HP and I took the trip up to Chicago for Pitchfork and to handle some wedding business. We met with the event planning assistant for our venue and our caterer. Considering that HP and I hadn't thought of half of the logistical or design details for this upcoming shindig, it was very productive. We managed to map out the timeline of the event (cocktail hour, ceremony, cocktail hour part deux, dinner, dancing/debauchery) and the layout of the very large venue space. While we invited about 120 guests, so far it's looking like it might be around 70. Smaller than we initially thought, especially for such a large space, but certainly our closest friends and family. Our meeting was very interesting. I knew from my conversations with our caterer that she was pretty traditional, in the sense that she knows and follows the old school format of weddings with all of the pomp and circumstance. It was great to know, however, that even though she was thrown off her game when we nixed a lot of standard, traditional elements, that she wasn't going to push any of it on us.
We've decided not to do things like being announced before dinner ("Here come Mr. and Mrs. HP!" not our style), hiding the bride away before the ceremony, and cutting a wedding cake (because there won't be one). I guess we don't really see the point in calling even more attention to ourselves than we already will. There were some other things that were brought up in our meeting, like where to put the card box or gift table and what sort of linens or plates to use, mainly things that were of little importance to us in the grand scheme of things. While I have every confidence that our caterer will handle everything professionally, I'm sure something will go wrong. Maybe the weather will take a turn for the worst. Maybe I'll trip on my way down the aisle. Maybe folks will grumble about only having a choice of beer or wine. Maybe someone will drunkenly insist that our indie rock DJ play The Electric Slide. There are a ton of maybes. I'm not really worried about them.
I get to marry the best darn man in the world. That's all that really matters.
Friday, July 9, 2010
In spite of the short work week, it sure does feel like a long one. Taking a change of pace from wedding planning, here's a possibly perfect summer playlist that my iPod magically conjured all on its own!
Pavement – Gold Soundz
Neutral Milk Hotel – Holland, 1945
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Young Adult Friction
The Replacements – Bastards Of Young
Of Montreal – Suffer For Fashion
Archers of Loaf – Web In Front
Okkervil River – Lost Coastlines
The Dodos – Walking
Mission of Burma – That's When I Reach For My Revolver
Camera Obscura – French Navy
The Replacements – Left Of The Dial
Japandroids – Wet Hair
She & Him – Ridin' In My Car
Sleater-Kinney – Everything
The Smiths – Panic
Superdrag – Senorita
Whiskeytown – Jacksonville Skyline
Rites of Spring – For Want Of
Motel Motel – Harlem
Maritime – Tearing Up The Oxygen
Magnetic Fields – To Drunk To Dream
Lung Leg – Krayola
Kut U Up – Destination
Gaslight Anthem – High Lonesome
Frightened Rabbit – Fast Blood
Now that I look at this list though…I think I need to get some new music. Suggestions are always welcome.
Maybe if I'm not feeling lazy I'll post a link so it can be downloaded. Maybe….
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
THE SCENE: A neighborhood tavern. The light is low. The jukebox is playing songs picked by the lone couple sitting near the pool tables.
Him: What happens if the number of people we thought were going to come to the wedding don't come? Are we going to have to pay more? Do we invite other people? [Exasperated] What are we going to do?!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
5. The "You HAVE To" Chorus
You have to have a wedding party! You have to have a cake! You have to wear white! You have to coordinate your chair covers with your table runners! You have to have floral centerpieces! In actuality, the universe will not be off kilter and no one will have a heart attack if we decide to skip any of these items. So for the last time, please don't tell me I HAVE to include something for my wedding. I've got it covered.
4. OMFG THIS DAY WILL BE PERFECT!
Even though I am a perfectionist at heart, I know when the time has come to walk away from something and just say, "Fuck it!" The wedding industry sells you images of perfection – scenes that have been meticulously planned, designed, styled, lit, photographed, and edited. No matter how much HP and I plan, something will go wrong. And you know what, that's okay with me. There comes a time when you have to just let go of perfection…and accept that life always has a curveball for you.
Can we please kill this stereotype already? It doesn't just show brides in a maniacal, obsessive, manipulative, high strung manner, it also reflects very poorly on women. Tell me this doesn't make a whole heap of sense: http://offbeatbride.com/2010/01/of-brides-and-zillas
2. "It's the happiest day of your life!"
I know you mean well, but please, for the love of god, please stop saying that my wedding day is the happiest day of my life. If you can see into my future and this big, expensive, awesome, frustrating, 10-month long to plan party is really the best thing that's ahead of me… then I should probably be worried.
1. The Judgment
I don't know what it is, but there's something about weddings that makes everyone incredibly judgmental. If you've ever trolled through wedding planning message boards, the judgment can be so overwhelming that it might scare you off the whole wedding planning experience. The sole mention of the word "wedding" on a message board has the power to elicit the most disturbing reactions – everything from "Why bother?! It'll just end up in divorce anyway!" to "Just go to the courthouse! Don't waste your money on a stupid wedding!" In traditionalist circles, the judgment is always what do you mean you aren't wearing white or having a calligrapher or an open bar or letterpress invitations?! Sacrilege! Sell a kidney to afford your Vera Wang! While offbeat circles are generally more open-minded, I've also found that some brides want to impress upon others why offbeat is 2646548x better. I'm more of the mindset that, you've simply got to do what feels right for you and your husband to be. Never mind the wedding industry noise, whether it's indie or traditional, just do what feels right.